Scene 2. A lobby in a conference centre

PLACEK Er - excuse me, Professor Anderson -

TONY Yes?

PLACEK I must apologise if I disturb you.

TONY Not at all - just checking the timetable.

PLACEK Then allow me please to congratulate you on your paper.

TONY Oh - thank you, Dr..?

PLACEK Placek is the name, Professor - Alexander Placek, Institute of Advanced Studies. May I present my card?

TONY Thanks. (Fumbling with his wallet, embarrassed) I'm afraid I seem to be out of them.

PLACEK It is no matter for concern. All the necessary details are in the conference documents. They are correct, I suppose?

TONY Oh, yes. Quite correct.

PLACEK Yes, your paper - how refreshing it is on such an occasion to hear a respectable piece of really original work, competently presented. So often it seems that we must listen to the fifth airing of some weary old publication, or a script that the presenter has obviously delegated to an underling to compose, and himself merely reads out with no sign of interest or even understanding.

TONY Well, busy people, you know.

PLACEK That may be. But too many of our purported authors, I fear, have made the least possible effort to gain a ticket to the conference. With some of them it is so blatant as to be embarrassing.

TONY (beginning to get a little restive) Yes, I suppose it is.

PLACEK Whatever happened, I ask myself, to the first intention of bringing together the real experts simply to discuss their latest ideas and discoveries?

TONY Smothered by the political side-issues, I imagine.

PLACEK It does appear so. (Glancing again at the timetable) I gather that you too are not unduly eager to hear Kasparian.

TONY Well, no - actually I was hoping to make a telephone call in a few minutes. This is the only paper I can really afford to miss today.

PLACEK "The temple bell stops ringing ..."

TONY (absently finishing the haiku, not quite correctly) "But the sound still comes from the flowers."

PLACEK Ah - near enough.

TONY Sorry?

PLACEK The fault is mine, Professor; I was speaking only to myself. A discourteous habit, I fear.

TONY Not at all. At least, we all do it at times.

PLACEK You are gracious. But your telephone call - I regret that the system does not work as well as one would wish, particularly when one attempts to use the public instruments. Even with local calls, there are often problems. You were perhaps planning to meet friends?

TONY No, it isn't that. I have to phone home.

PLACEK Indeed? You have chosen a difficult time, I fear.

TONY There are reasons.

PLACEK Of course, I have no doubt of it.

TONY Actually my wife's had some rather crucial medical tests, and I wondered if she'd got the results yet - they were due today.

PLACEK I do implore your pardon, Professor, if I have given the impression of seeking explanation. It was far from my intention to pry into private matters.

TONY No, I didn't think that for a moment.

PLACEK But I must not detain you from so important an enquiry. You would do best to ask the conference office to place your call - if you will please to return my card for a moment - thank you - (scribbling on the back and returning it) presenting that in the office should overcome any difficulty that might arise with our sometimes over-conscientious staff there.

TONY Thank you. It's very good of you.

PLACEK Not at all. We try to accommodate our distinguished guests as well as we can.

TONY Much appreciated.

PLACEK And I do hope that all will be well with your wife.

TONY You're very kind. You will excuse me now, won't you?

PLACEK Of course, Professor. We shall meet again. Auf wiedersehen. (Exit Tony. Looking after him, and muttering to himself) Yes - it must be ... Not yet the expected local call, but there's plenty of time for that. And perhaps the arrangements were less straightforward than we supposed. So; we shall see. We live in interesting times, as they say.

Scene 3. Tony's sitting room, early evening..

TONY Oh, hello, Clara. Do come in. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were just behind me.

CLARA There's no need to apologise, I wasn't so very close.

TONY Well timed, anyway. Coffee, tea, something stronger?

CLARA No, thank you. Not that I want to be unsociable, but with this on my mind ...

TONY Yes, what is this mysterious business that couldn't be discussed on the phone?

CLARA Er - I ought to explain that Derek would have come himself, but he was called to see the Bishop and didn't think this could wait until he got back. So he asked me to deal with it instead.

TONY The occupational hazard of a Vicar's wife.

CLARA Exactly. But this time it's such a difficult business - in fact I hardly know where to start.

TONY At the beginning?

CLARA No, that's too far back - I'm a bit hazy about some of the details there myself. But that's not the problem. I'm afraid this is a very personal matter.

TONY Oh? Have I done something dreadful?

CLARA No, it's nothing like that - nothing at all. Oh dear, I'm sorry to be so awkward about it.

TONY What on earth is the matter? I've never known you in such a state.

CLARA I've never had such an errand! Oh well, here goes. I was looking through the parish records ... I know this must be painful for you, but your wife died about a couple of years ago, didn't she?

TONY Yes, that's right. It was terrible for a while; no more than a dull ache now, except on odd occasions.

CLARA Yes, time does help. But are you ... forgive me if this seems an impertinence ... Are you by any chance thinking of marrying again?

TONY Whatever gave you that idea?

CLARA Nothing. I mean ...Oh lord, I knew I'd make a mess of it.

TONY Hold on. I can't imagine what's behind all this, but it must be desperate for you to be in such a state about it. Have a sherry, get a grip on yourself and make a fresh start.

CLARA You're probably right. Thank you. I'm sorry ...

TONY Right. You are now your usual cool, calm, competent self. OK? Now, you asked if I was thinking of re-marriage. No, I'm not. No one could ever take Margaret's place.

CLARA I've heard that sort of remark quite often, you know, from people who were very happy to eat their words later.

TONY Maybe you have, but I can't see myself doing it.

CLARA That's perfectly natural. But have you any objection in principle?

TONY Look, I'm trying to be patient, and I don't want to be stuffy, but I really can't see what business that is of yours. I'm sorry, Clara - that sounded offensive and pompous - I don't mean to be. But where the blue blinking blazes is all this leading?

CLARA Oh, it's no good beating about the bush. It's simply that if you've no intention of re-marrying for your own sake, there's nothing to stop you from doing it for someone else's, is there?

TONY (Leaping up) WHAT!!!!!!!!?

CLARA You know Mrs. Armitage at the Manor ...

TONY You are NOT lumbering me with that old battle-axe, whatever happens!

CLARA Tony! Don't be ridiculous.

TONY I see nothing ridiculous in objecting to that.

CLARA There's no such suggestion. Do sit down again. My nerves are bad enough without your prowling around like a caged tiger. (He does so, reluctantly.) Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Mrs. Armitage has a young girl helping in the house. From Eastern Europe somewhere. She came over to marry a lad she'd met on a student exchange or something of the sort, and he let her down. Now she's threatened with deportation - and she's dead scared of what'll happen to her if she goes back. Says she'd kill herself first.

TONY Over-dramatisation, surely.

CLARA Mrs. Armitage thinks not. And battle-axe as she may be, I'd trust her judgement of character. Anyway, it seems that the only other thing that could save this girl from being sent back to meet her fate is to find an English husband.

TONY I'd have thought an appeal to the Home Secretary ...

CLARA That's been tried. And rejected.

TONY So you're nominating me as the gallant suitor?

CLARA If that's how you want to put it. The boot's really on the other foot. But you've got the essential idea.

TONY (patiently) Now let's consider this sensibly. You say she's a young girl. How young?

CLARA Early twenties, I suppose. No more than twenty-five, anyway.

TONY So I'm at least twice her age. There must be someone not quite so unsuitable that you could match her with.

CLARA There aren't all that many around here. And the few there are have other fish to fry. Actually, Mrs. Armitage says that Anna has been asking questions about you - it suggests some interest. She's not looking for an Adonis, you know -

TONY Thank you very much!

CLARA Just a British husband. For whatever length of time it takes to establish a right of residence - a couple of years, perhaps. It doesn't need to be a permanent arrangement.

TONY Clara! From someone supposed to uphold the sanctity of marriage, that is frankly shocking.

CLARA Is it? We rather take it for granted these days, I'm afraid. But if you've genuine qualms on that score, there's no need to consummate the marriage. Then it would be just a legal fiction.

TONY Illegal, more like.

CLARA Is that really a consideration, with the girl's life at stake?

TONY All very well for you. You wouldn't be in the dock. But you can imagine the accusation - "a blatant attempt to get round the Home Secretary's ruling."

CLARA Now who's over-dramatising things? It happens often enough. And never comes to a prosecution.

TONY Oh, no?

CLARA Well, if it does, I'll testify that I talked you into it.

TONY Duress may be a defence; persuasion isn't. I can hardly say you were holding a gun to my head. Not even the proverbial shotgun - she isn't pregnant, is she?

CLARA Not as far as I know. (Suddenly changing tone) Look, Tony, this isn't for me. It's for a poor girl who's at her wits' end about God knows what trouble she'll be in if you don't bail her out. She's clean, personable, intelligent, good-natured by all accounts ...

TONY You sound as though you were trying to find a home for a family pet.

CLARA Yes, I heard how you took in old Mrs. Potter's cat when she died - and how well you cared for it.

TONY It was the cat that adopted me. I had very little choice in the matter.

CLARA You didn't throw it out. And someone else would probably have looked after it if you had. This girl has no one else to help her. (Almost pleading) Won't you at least see her? She's waiting outside in the car.

TONY Well, of all the ... you're really putting me in an impossible position ...

CLARA I'm sorry, but I have to. It's an emergency.

TONY We can't leave her stranded out there, I suppose ... Mind you, I'm not making any promises.

CLARA That's understood. Thank you. I'll fetch her in. And Tony ...

TONY Yes?

CLARA Be kind to her - please.

CLARA Professor Anderson, this is Anna.

TONY Hello, Anna.

ANNA How do you do, Professor? You are very kind to receive me like this.

TONY I'm sorry you had such a long wait outside. Please sit down. Will you have a sherry?

ANNA Thank you, I should like that. But please make it small.

TONY Your English is very good.

ANNA You are kind. My parents insisted that I should learn it well, and we used to listen often to English radio programmes.

TONY And how are your parents?

CLARA (warning) Tony ..!

ANNA It is all right, Mrs. Benson. I must learn to face it. (To Tony) They both disappeared several years ago. I think that they must be dead.

TONY Oh. I'm sorry. Hm - how hopelessly inadequate that is!

ANNA Perhaps they are better so. They had been distressed for a long time about the state of our country. It is not a happy land.

TONY Which is why you don't want to go back?

ANNA That is correct. Anything rather than that.

TONY Even marriage?

ANNA You make it sound like what I do not mean. But for a girl to have to plead for marriage, it is not a pleasant thing - not a becoming thing, even. Yet that is what I must do.

TONY And you'd be prepared to settle for a husband old enough to be your father? Not that I'm committing myself, you understand.

ANNA If he is as kind and gentle as my father - and from what Mrs. Benson has told me, I think that you must be.

TONY Mrs. Benson hasn't had to live with me. (Sotto voce) Thank goodness!

ANNA No, but these things can be seen.

TONY And I'm not the romantic type, you know.

ANNA I came here at the first to join someone who seemed to be romantic. But romantic types are ... not reliable. And reliability is what I need above all things. Professor Anderson, I do not wish to make a great scene of this - it would be embarrassing for you and demeaning for myself - but if you will take me, I promise to do everything that I can to make you not regret it. I ask only for the formality of marriage, not for all the privileges that I might expect if you chose me freely. I can live cheaply; I can make my own clothes; I can cook well - Mrs. Armitage will tell you; I do not ask for ...

TONY Stop, stop, stop! You don't need to worry about all that - I'm reasonably well off, you know. And as for demeaning, it would demean me to deny a wife anything I could reasonably provide. There'd be no reason for you to go short.

ANNA Mrs. Benson has said also that you are generous.

TONY Mrs. Benson has said a damn sight too much!

CLARA So Derek has commented on more than one occasion. Do I gather that you ..?

TONY That I've agreed? No, don't rush me. This is a big step you're asking me to take. I need time to think it over.

CLARA How long? We've only got a week.

TONY You've cut it jolly fine!

CLARA Blame the Home Secretary. We didn't get the ruling until yesterday.

TONY You can hardly expect me to decide a question like this on just five minutes' acquaintance.

CLARA No, I realise that. It's all arranged with Mrs. Armitage. Anna can have whatever time off she needs.

TONY For what?

CLARA Take her for a walk tomorrow. Or a run in the car. Play records for her. Talk about her interests. Really, Tony, if you need the Vicar's wife to tell you how to spend a day with a pretty girl, you're not the man I took you for!

TONY What makes you think I have the day free?

CLARA Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Damn! When could you ..?

TONY It's all right, there's nothing I can't put off. But you're certainly taking a hell of a lot for granted.

CLARA I know, but I have to. As I said, this is an emergency.

TONY So it seems. (To Anna) When shall I call for you?

ANNA It is you who are doing the favour for me. Please say when it will be convenient to yourself.

TONY Right. Ten o'clock?

ANNA Yes, that will suit me well. Thank you.

CLARA And then you'll make your mind up?

TONY Clara, you're rushing me again.

CLARA I've told you, we haven't much time.

TONY Yes, all right. I'll try to reach a decision, one way or the other, and tell you on Sunday. But don't jump to any conclusions!

Scene 4. The same, a few months later.

TONY Phew, where did that lot come from?

ANNA You did not expect rain? I was not able to hear the forecast.

TONY No, right out of the blue. What a cloudburst!

ANNA That lightning seemed to be very close.

TONY A quarter-mile away, perhaps. It's a good job we'd only a few yards to dash.

ANNA But you are out of breath even so. You should take more exercise.

TONY Now don't you start. I've had quite enough of that from Dr. Ferguson.

ANNA Well, he is right. You ought to follow his advice.

TONY Maybe. Are you wet?

ANNA How could I not be?

TONY I mean, right through.

ANNA Just my dress, I think - I will change it. What about you?

TONY Nothing to worry about.

ANNA Your jacket is very damp. Take it off; I shall bring a towel.

TONY Hey, easy does it! No need to scalp me.

ANNA There, is that better?

TONY Yes, thanks.

ANNA I think your hair looks better - be still a moment - like that. There; how does it feel?

TONY A bit strange. Why change it?

ANNA To cover the part that is becoming a little thin.

TONY Is it? I never noticed.

ANNA You cannot see it. But I do. Still, if you do not like it this way ...

TONY Oh, I don't mind. If you like it ...

ANNA Thank you. Tony, your trousers look to be wet at the ankles.

TONY They'll dry soon enough. But what a way to end the evening!

ANNA There is no real harm done. And it was a very pleasant evening.

TONY You liked Harry and Gina?

ANNA They were very welcoming.

TONY Is that all?

ANNA I did not mean to be - I think you once said "condemning with slight praise," or something like that.

TONY Close. "Damning with faint praise" is the usual form. A cliché, I'm afraid. I don't know where it comes from.

ANNA That is no matter. Yes, I liked them. You have known them long?

TONY Harry about five years. He was a student of mine - one of the best. Gina I hardly know at all; I never met her before their wedding, and this was the first time since.

ANNA What do you think of her?

TONY Well, she seems rather quiet.

ANNA I have never before heard a man complain of that in a woman!

TONY No, I meant subdued - diffident.

ANNA Probably she was in awe of her husband's professor.

TONY Perhaps. But I hope she develops a bit more self-confidence. Otherwise it could be a very dull marriage.

ANNA You like a woman to have spirit?

TONY Certainly. Not too much, of course; she shouldn't be overwhelming.

ANNA I shall remember. But they seem affectionate.

TONY So they should be - hardly over the honeymoon.

ANNA Hm. (snuggling up; after a pause) Your shirt is wet, too.

TONY A bit.

ANNA You should change it.

TONY I don't feel like moving, for the moment.

ANNA Yes. It is agreeable, here on the hearth rug.

TONY Isn't it supposed to be a leopard skin for the best effect?

ANNA Is it? You are planning to get a leopard skin?

TONY I'm afraid the leopard might object.

ANNA In my home, the great ambition was to have a bear skin.

TONY Oh, indeed? "Bare skin" is what you're showing rather too much, young woman.

ANNA It offends you to see me like this?

TONY Not at all. That's the trouble. I'm only human, you know.

ANNA Well, what is wrong with that? After all, we are man and wife. The minister said so.

TONY You know perfectly well that that was just a formality.

ANNA I have known of people doing very much more with very much less formality.

TONY I know of people beating up their grandmothers, but I don't have to do the same.

ANNA (in mock astonishment) You have a grandmother still living?

TONY You know what I mean. I have rather old-fashioned ideas about some things, that's all.

ANNA I do not understand. It seems that you do not like me.

TONY No, I don't mean that at all.

ANNA Then you do like me?

TONY Yes, Anna, I like you very much. Very much indeed.

ANNA That is good. But you do not like the way I look?

TONY It's considered bad manners to fish for compliments. But don't worry, you look absolutely fine.

ANNA I have not the shape of Gina, I am afraid.

TONY There's nothing wrong with the shape you've got.

ANNA Ah, I am glad. Because I like to please you.

TONY You do. And I like to please you.

ANNA Thank you. You really ought to change that shirt, you know.

TONY Do you want the rug to yourself? Is that it?

ANNA No, not at all. I do not want you to catch a cold.

TONY A few minutes won't do any harm.

ANNA Well, if you are sure ... (Another pause.) Tony?

TONY Yes?

ANNA You remember the marriage service?

TONY Of course.

ANNA There was one phrase ... What is the word for something that is not exactly comical, but a little strange?

TONY Funny?

ANNA I said not comical.

TONY It does have the extra colloquial meaning, you know. Peculiar?

ANNA No, a shorter word. I think it begins with a q.

TONY Queer?

ANNA Not that, either. Does it not have some unpleasant use?

TONY It does, rather. Er - quaint?

ANNA Yes, that is it. A quaint expression.

TONY What was it?

ANNA It was something like "With my body I thee worship."

TONY You've got it exactly. "And with all my worldly goods I thee endow."

ANNA Yes, you have been most generous. And I am grateful - for everything. But Tony ...

TONY Yes?

ANNA I think that I should also like you to worship me a little.

Scene 5. The same, two or three months later.

ANNA Good evening.

PLACEK Good evening, Madam. Could you please tell me if I have found the residence of Professor Anderson?

ANNA Yes, this is it.

PLACEK May I then speak to the Professor, please?

ANNA I regret that he is not at home at present. Perhaps I could take a message for him. What is it about which you wish to speak?

PLACEK It is a little difficult to explain on the doorstep ...

ANNA I am sorry. Will you come in for a moment?

PLACEK Thank you.

PLACEK Well done; not a flicker of recognition where anyone could see it.

ANNA It was dinned into me thoroughly enough. Now, I suppose you've brought the next round of instructions for this assignment?

PLACEK That's right. But first, tell me exactly what the situation is here. I suppose you've got a position as some sort of maid to the Professor?

ANNA Better than that - I'm his wife!

PLACEK Good grief!

ANNA I should have told you, only you said there must be absolutely no contact.

PLACEK So I did. But did you have to be so drastic?

ANNA You wanted me to be an intimate member of the household. What could be more intimate than this? In any case, it turned out to be the only position actually available when I got down to it.

PLACEK Fair enough. And it does open up some very interesting possibilities - yes, the more I think of it, the better I like it. Again, well done.

ANNA Thank you, sir. Now, where do we go from here?

PLACEK Well, it was necessary at first to keep you in the dark about the nature of your mission. But you must have realised by now that our good Professor, besides his academic duties, is very much involved with dissident activity in the Socialist countries.

ANNA No - it's news to me.

PLACEK Then he must have been a marvel of discretion. He's been getting forbidden literature published here and smuggled back; raising funds for the operation; placing emigrés in positions of advantage in the West - very much to our disadvantage, with the tales they tell; he's even supplying funds and materials to dissident groups back home.

ANNA Are you sure? I don't see how he could do all that without my knowing at least something about it. You couldn't be thinking about another Professor Anderson, could you? It's a common enough name.

PLACEK No chance. On one of his visits that we knew about beforehand, I posed as his contact; the real one was, ah, "indisposed" at the time. When we met, it was he who brought up the question of political action - in veiled terms, of course. He responded correctly to the password. In our later conversations, and we had several, it was painfully obvious that he was being ultra-cautious, as if reluctant to trust even those identified as his contacts. It all fitted.

ANNA Well, if you say so. But, as I said, there's been no sign of it that I've seen.

PLACEK And you are a capable observer. So he's even more cunning an opponent than I'd thought, and it's still more important to scotch his activities. So now we come to the next phase of the operation.

ANNA (apprehensively) Yes?

PLACEK These emigrés - and the consequences of what they say about conditions back home - have become too troublesome to tolerate.

ANNA So what do you do about them? You can't get them all with poisoned umbrella spikes. And even if you did, there'd be others.

PLACEK Exactly. Assassination is not a course that we should undertake lightly, even when it is justified - as it seldom is, and never when it fails to solve the problem. In this instance it is far too crude a weapon, liable to damage our own interests. So we must find some other way. What we have to do is not merely to plug the loophole, we must also discredit the rats that have got through already. To forestall future difficulties, we discredit their source of assistance as well. That's where you come in.

ANNA I don't like the sound of this.

PLACEK As his maid, I expected you to find damaging evidence. But it seems that I was mistaken. As his wife, however, you can do even better.

ANNA How?

PLACEK You will sue for divorce, citing the Professor's string of affairs with women ostensibly brought to the house as part of their route to "freedom."

ANNA What!?

PLACEK I think you heard me.

ANNA Nothing of the sort has ever happened!

PLACEK How do you know? You certainly wouldn't be the first deceived wife, and I don't suppose the last. In any case, true or not, we can easily manufacture the evidence.

ANNA I won't do it!

PLACEK There seems to be something strange about the acoustics of this room. You are having difficulty in hearing my orders; and I could have sworn that you said you would not obey them.

ANNA I did.

PLACEK Lieutenant Jirak!

ANNA (snapping to attention) Sir! (Relaxing) You have the name wrong, sir. It's Anderson now.

PLACEK I am not referring to your temporary place in this decadent society. I am talking of your duty to your country's service. You will sue for divorce on the grounds I have stated. The case will be a sensation - we shall make sure of that - and afterwards, no one will take the emigrés seriously, or put any trust in your precious professor. We may even ruin his reputation with the dissident groups themselves - but perhaps that's too much to hope.

ANNA I don't believe it!

PLACEK (misunderstanding) We mustn't expect more than is realistic, still less bank on it.

ANNA That isn't ...

PLACEK But in any case their opinion will hardly matter once his usefulness to them is destroyed. On reflection, their continued regard for him would do us no harm, and neither will any comfort it gives him. I have no wish to cause needless distress ...

ANNA What? You ruin everything a man stands for, and you have no wish to cause distress!

PLACEK When you reach my age, you may realise that in such a position, any crumb of consolation is especially valuable. I hope it will not be from personal experience. But that is by the way. I shall go now to prepare the details of your story so that the necessary corroboration can be arranged.

ANNA I'm not doing that to my husband.

PLACEK Don't tell me you've been infected by the romantic notion of marriage put out by the pulp novelists.

ANNA It isn't that. It's the whole atmosphere here.

PLACEK What do you mean?

ANNA At home, after my parents vanished, I did everything in fear - with good reason, as you know very well. But since I came here I've met nothing but kindness and - yes - respect.

PLACEK Nothing?

ANNA Well, perhaps at first, when I was working for Mrs. Armitage up at the big house - she was fairly strict. But always just.

PLACEK You speak of justice when she and all her kind for generations have owed their positions to extortion and exploitation?

ANNA Maybe. But the villagers speak well of them.

PLACEK Ach, they have to.

ANNA Nonsense! You just don't understand a society where you don't need to guard every word, because there's no one listening behind the door.

PLACEK If you believe that, you'll believe anything. And if it were true, you could never achieve justice in so undisciplined a society.

ANNA Why not?

PLACEK (kindly, but ignoring the question) Anna, I think I see what has happened to you. You've been lucky in finding an area of Western society that happens to be particularly attractive, a community reasonably content with itself, prosperous but not scarred by the means to prosperity, small enough for most people to know each other and perhaps quite genuinely to care for their neighbours. You probably think it's all more or less like that. But most of the people live in the cities, and life there is completely different - every man for himself, and devil take the hindmost. Pardon the clichés, but in this instance they fit. Oh yes, some of the people make themselves very comfortable, thank you; but they don't seem any too happy with it. And have you seen the derelicts sleeping out with no more than a cardboard box to shelter them? No, I thought not. You won't find them so charmed with the benefits of "freedom." Even in a village like this, if you look beneath the surface, you'll find some simmering resentments, particularly as the real villagers start to find themselves swamped by incomers who only sleep here and put next to nothing into the community - one of them, I might point out, being your own dear husband. No, there's nothing to stop the slide into total decadence but a complete restructuring. In fact, restructuring here can come only after the collapse, and meanwhile we must protect our own revolution. Your assignment is a part of that grand strategy.

ANNA Yes, I know all that. It was all part of the political education.

PLACEK Then you have no excuse for forgetting it.

ANNA I haven't forgotten. But I still won't do it.

PLACEK Lieutenant! Remember your duty.

ANNA I do remember it - the whole filthy, stinking business! I'm getting out.

PLACEK Think carefully, Anna. You don't desert the Service as easily as that.

ANNA I know. All right, I'll do anything you like to undermine the emigrés - most of them probably aren't genuine refugees anyway - anything short of harming Tony. Or his reputation.

PLACEK Fool! Don't you see that that's the whole point of the operation? (Deliberately calming himself) Look, Anna, I don't want to come over like a pantomime villain, but you must see that unless you follow the plan, I shall have to make other arrangements to salvage it, and whatever my regrets, they may have very unpleasant consequences for you.

ANNA Then I take the consequences.

PLACEK And that's your final word?

ANNA It is.

PLACEK So be it, then. I'm truly sorry - I had high hopes for you - but if you will stick to this absurd attachment, you have only yourself to blame. Good bye.

Scene 6. The same, the following evening.

ANNA There! I am out - and on a treble, too.

TONY Hm. I should have thought of that.

ANNA You're slipping! What is the score?

TONY You have - er - a hundred and seventy six, plus seven for my leftovers. Mine's two hundred and fifty five, less the seven. You're getting closer.

ANNA I think that perhaps you deliberately make chances for me.

TONY No fear! I did at first, but that had to stop a while back; you're getting far too dangerous.

ANNA Would you like a coffee?

TONY Yes, please. I'll pack up the set.

TONY All right, I'll see to it.

PLACEK (at the door) Good evening, Professor Anderson.

TONY Good evening ...?

PLACEK Alexander Placek - you perhaps remember we met at the Prague conference?

TONY Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry, I couldn't quite place you for the moment. Do come in. We're just going to have coffee; will you join us?

PLACEK You are most kind. Thank you, yes.

TONY (calling through) Make it three coffees, Anna. We've a visitor.

ANNA Right.

PLACEK I hope that I am not intruding?

TONY Not at all. We weren't doing anything in particular.

PLACEK That is good. I had intended to write to you, but the time went by - I am sure that you have had similar experiences - and then I had to visit this country and thought that I might give myself the pleasure of renewing your acquaintance in person.

TONY I'm delighted you did. You say you meant to write - is it just a social call, or have you some other reason?

PLACEK (smiling) Ah, you have guessed my guilty secret.

TONY Is that as bad as it sounds?

PLACEK I hope not. You will remember that after Prague, there was agreement that the next conference of the series should be in Kiev during the May of next year?

TONY Yes, as it happens I got the preliminary announcement and call for papers only last week.

PLACEK That is good. I was not certain how long the postal delivery might take.

TONY A bit late, isn't it? We usually get at least a year's notice.

PLACEK I regret that there have been some difficulties over the administrative arrangements. We seem to have overcome most of them, fortunately, but they did cause a considerable delay.

TONY I see. Anyway, I was wondering if our departmental funds would stretch to sending me there - you may have heard about some pretty fierce budget cuts lately - but I can't get a decision for a couple of weeks.

PLACEK Ah, that is interesting. You see - but first, I should explain to you that the organising committee has done me the honour of appointing me Conference Secretary.

TONY Congratulations! Or should I offer commiseration?

PLACEK You may indeed ask. I am not at all sure myself. But that is a digression. My reason for approaching you is to ask if you would be willing to act as chairman for one of the sessions.

TONY Why yes, of course, I'd be delighted - and honoured - if I could be sure of getting there. I suppose your invitation should give me a bit more leverage ... Could you put it in writing?

PLACEK My dear fellow, say no more. For you as an official of the conference, the committee itself will cover all fees and expenses. And send to you a letter to that effect as soon as I return.

TONY Oh, that puts a different light on it altogether. I can't see any other difficulty - at least, none that I can't get over.

PLACEK Excellent. I presume that you will be accompanied?

TONY Er -

PLACEK But there, I was forgetting - how foolish of me. When we last met you were worrying about your wife's health; is she now well?

TONY In a sense. No, that's an evasion. Actually she died not very long afterwards.

PLACEK My friend! I am desolate! Please accept my deepest condolences.

TONY (uncomfortably) Thank you.

PLACEK And that I should by my clumsiness have opened again the old wound - I do most earnestly beg your forgiveness.

TONY Please don't give it another thought. You weren't to know.

PLACEK Even so -

TONY And in the event it was a mercy. Margaret was in terrible pain, and knowing that I was racked to see it only made it worse for her. It was for the best that she died fairly quickly.

PLACEK I see. It is good that you can take so heavy a blow philosophically. Though there must still be some pain for you, I fear.

TONY An occasional sadness when something brings back particular memories. There have been consolations.

PLACEK I am truly glad to hear it.

TONY But for the conference - take it that I'll be alone.

PLACEK Very well. That is understood.

ANNA (popping her head round the door) Milk and sugar? (Seeing Placek) Oh!

PLACEK Sugar, no milk, thank you. (With a well-faked double take) My God!

TONY What's the matter?

PLACEK That girl - your domestic, I suppose?

TONY No, I should have explained. I married Anna six months ago.

PLACEK Indeed?

TONY All right, I know what they say about an old man taking a young wife, but really it's worked out very well. After -

PLACEK (in an urgent whisper) That is not the point. My friend, I must speak to you most urgently, in complete privacy.

TONY What?

PLACEK Where can we meet and be sure that no one - absolutely no one - can overhear us?

TONY What on earth for?

PLACEK I do assure you that it is important.

TONY Well ... I suppose the University Park would do ...

PLACEK Ideal; where precisely within it?

TONY There's a duck pond by the south gate, with a swan's nest on one side. I could be there - oh, two o'clock tomorrow? (Placek nods.) But what on earth ...?

PLACEK Not now. (Anna enters with the coffee. Placek resumes his customary suavity.) Ah, the coffee. And may I compliment you on having so charming a hostess to grace your home ...?

Scene 7. The University park, the following afternoon.

PLACEK Ah, Professor Anderson!

TONY Good afternoon. Now what the devil is ..?

PLACEK One moment. What a fine day it has become. Do you enjoy watching the ducks?

TONY Eh? Oh, yes. Whenever I feel worried or depressed, I come to look at them. They've never yet failed to cheer me up.

PLACEK That is good. There is something indeed comical about them. But the swan - he does not seem to find them so amusing.

TONY No, they've got eggs in the nest, so they always drive the ducks away. Though what harm they suppose the ducks might do, goodness only knows.

PLACEK And look - do you not see? - at the nest, a rat is creeping up, and - yes - it has stolen one of the eggs.

TONY While the swan carries on regardless chasing the ducks.

PLACEK Just so. And there, my friend, is a parable for ourselves. So often we fail to see where our true danger lies. We fill our heads with worry about mere irritations, while the real enemy approaches stealthily to destroy us from behind.

TONY My word, we are getting philosophical, aren't we?

PLACEK Do not jest, my friend. If we do not take due account of philosophical matters, who will do so? Come, let us make a walk together.

TONY You're being very mysterious. What's up?

PLACEK (looking round to make sure that the coast is clear) It concerns your work for the eastern dissident organisations.

TONY My WHAT?

PLACEK Shhh! Please, be calm. We must not attract attention. There is no need to pretend that you know nothing about it.

TONY But ...

PLACEK When we met in Prague, everything that you said about politics was circumspect in the extreme, but your meaning was clear to anyone who held the key.

TONY (flabbergasted) I never ...

PLACEK And, of course, you responded correctly to the password.

TONY What the devil are you talking about? I can't make head or tail of it. Any more than I could in Prague. What you said then baffled me completely, but I thought I was simply too worried about Margaret to follow you properly, and made the best non-committal answers I could. If they fitted in with what you expected of a particular contact, I'm sorry, but that was pure bad luck. Honestly, you've got the wrong man.

PLACEK (momentarily nonplussed, then recovering) Ah, you are quite right to be cautious. After all, you cannot be sure that I am not a spy of my government, sent to penetrate your organisation.

TONY (laughing) Oh, I hardly think so.

PLACEK This is not a matter for laughter. Such things do happen. And it is of such things that I wish to warn you.

TONY Warn me?

PLACEK Yes. Your new wife - Anna, I think you called her - what do you know of her past life?

TONY Why bring her into it?

PLACEK That is what I wish to explain to you. Please excuse my approaching it in an indirect manner; it will be easier in the end. If you will pardon my repeating the question, I asked what you knew about Anna's past life.

TONY Well, not a great deal, as it happens. She doesn't like to talk about it. I gather that she dislikes the government of her own country and is afraid to go back.

PLACEK With good reason, I dare say. But I doubt very much whether it is the government that she fears.

TONY What?

PLACEK I have no proof of this, you must understand. No one outside official circles would have access to the evidence. What I say comes mostly from rumour and deduction or even guesswork; but in my country it is wise to pay heed to rumour. That is why "rumour-mongering" is considered so serious an offence.

TONY Now you're really getting me worried.

PLACEK So; you are learning. It is well. Now, what has Anna said of her family?

TONY Only that her parents disappeared a while ago, presumed dead.

PLACEK That at least is true. She would not tell you, I suppose, that it was after she herself denounced them for dissident activities.

TONY Good God!

PLACEK Or that among every circle of friends that she has made since then, anyone showing signs of sympathy with the dissidents, or impatience with government policy, has suffered harassment, loss of privileges, or arrest?

TONY This is terrible!

PLACEK I fear so. We have made in many ways a terrible world.

TONY But supposing for the moment that something like this has really happened, how can I be sure that the girl you're talking about is actually Anna? It's easy to make a mistake. And you can't have known her well, otherwise by your own account you'd have been in the soup yourself.

PLACEK Hm. (Covering a moment's thought) I must remember that phrase, Professor - "in the soup." So much more acceptable than the usual vulgarism. Yes, you are right; you have an acute mind. My acquaintance with her was not close, and such an error is always possible - indeed, one must greatly hope for it. So by all means let us do what we can to establish the negative hypothesis; that is the scientific method, is it not? Now, the girl of whom I speak, she herself disappeared from her home - let me recollect - it would be about a year and a half ago. If your Anna was here before that, then she is not the same.

TONY Well, as I told you, we were married six months ago. And she'd spent about nine months working for Mrs. Armitage. I think she came over six or seven weeks earlier.

PLACEK So it fits. I think, my friend, that you had better ask her some very serious questions - and check the answers carefully with those contacts that you do not have in the East. Farewell.

Scene 8. Back in the sitting room, the same evening.

ANNA Hello, have you had a good day?

TONY Not really.

ANNA You do look worried.

TONY I am. Desperately. Anna, we'll have to have a serious talk.

ANNA Yes? What is it about?

TONY I've been talking to Dr. Placek. What he told me was utterly horrifying. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything else since.

ANNA Oh.

TONY How well do you know him?

ANNA Well, I have met him two times, when he came yesterday, and before that when he called to see you but you were out.

TONY Is that all? You didn't meet him before you left home?

ANNA It is possible. I do not remember. Why do you ask?

TONY He seems - or rather, he claims - to know a lot about you.

ANNA What sort of thing?

TONY Well - please understand, Anna, this is what he said, not what I think - still less what I want to believe - he said that before you came over here you were some sort of informer on anyone with dissident sympathies; and that you'd even shopped your own parents.

ANNA Shopped? I do not understand ...

TONY Denounced them to the police.

ANNA But that is not true!

TONY I never thought it was. It's the last thing I'd expect.

ANNA I am very glad that you say so.

TONY That's all very well as far as it goes. But how can I be sure?

ANNA How can anyone be sure of anything? Tony, you and I have lived together for six months now, for nearly half of that time truly as man and wife. How well do you know Dr. Placek? Which of us can you believe?

TONY God knows I want to believe you. But then I know myself that I want to believe you, and I can't tell if I'm really convinced or simply want to be.

ANNA Why do you always have to be so damnably philosophical?

TONY I know, I know, it must be maddening. But it's the way I'm made. I can't take anything at face value.

ANNA Except Dr. Placek, it seems.

TONY Now be fair, Anna -

ANNA (exploding) How can you expect me to be fair when you make an accusation like that?

TONY It isn't an accusation.

ANNA If you do not think that that is an accusation - and one of the worst you could make against anyone - I should like very much to know what is.

TONY No, it isn't. At least, not by me.

ANNA But by Placek. And you seem to agree with him.

TONY I'm merely telling you what he said. Oh, what's the use? We're just going round in circles.

ANNA Then can we please drop the subject?

TONY If only we could! But now it's been raised ... Anna, that record you were playing when I came in, from "Samson and Dalila" - you know the story?

ANNA About the trusted wife who betrays her husband? Of course I know it. And you think that perhaps that is the sort of wife you have?

TONY No, I don't. That's what I've been trying to tell you.

ANNA It did not sound like that.

TONY I'm sorry, really sorry.

ANNA (bitterly) So am I.

TONY But once the slightest seed of doubt has been sown, it's liable to grow out of all proportion. So I'd like to crush it once and for all right at the start.

ANNA (slightly mollified) I see. But how can you do that?

TONY That's the problem. You can't prove a negative. But there's just one chance.

ANNA What is that?

TONY Placek wasn't absolutely sure that you were the girl he thought. He said she disappeared from home eighteen months ago. Now we can account for you for most of that time: if you can think of any way to establish that you were in this country - or at least, out of your own - for say three months before then, you'll be in the clear.

ANNA It will be difficult.

TONY But can you try?

ANNA Let me see. I did leave my home town two years ago, though I did not immediately leave the country. It may be that someone could vouch for me during that time. But why should you believe such a person more than me - or Dr. Placek? Even if you could find one.

TONY I don't know! Is there perhaps some document that would show where you were - something that couldn't have been obtained afterwards?

ANNA I will try to think of something. But I cannot think while you are staring at me like that!

TONY No, that's fair enough. Look, I'm more desperately sorry than I can say that this has come up. But now that it has - and with your background - I'm sure you realise that I can't just let it pass by.

ANNA (dully) I understand.

TONY Thank you, darling. (After a pause) I think I'd better go for a walk.

ANNA Very well. But please take care; keep away from the main road. You know how you notice no danger while you are preoccupied.

TONY I'll be careful.

ANNA And Tony -

TONY Yes?

ANNA I love you.

ANNA My dearest Tony; there is so much that I have to say to you, and it is so difficult to put into words. The first, last and most important thing is that I love you. You have given me during the past six months the greatest happiness that I have ever known, and if it has now turned to the greatest misery, that is my misfortune, not your fault.

I must now be completely honest. There is no possible way to prove that I am not the same girl of whom Dr. Placek has spoken, because I am. Even the accusation that I betrayed my own parents - the parents whom I loved so deeply that grief at their loss still haunts me - even that has some foundation. The cruellest lies are the closest to the truth. What really happened was that my boy-friend at the time taunted me with having such conforming parents, and like a fool I let slip something of what I had seen, not realising that he was working for the Secret Service. After that no one decent who knew the story would have anything to do with me, and in time I myself drifted into the Service almost by accident.

Dr. Placek was my chief, and it was he who sent me here. My task was to find a way into your household - why, I did not know until he came here while you were out yesterday - but it was part of a plan to destroy your reputation and that of the dissident organisations for which he was convinced you were working. When I realised, I refused to do it, and this is his revenge.

After this I can never hope to regain your trust, and without it life would be unbearable. Please forgive me for what I have to do. That it will hurt you so much causes me even more pain than my own loss. Forgive me, I beg of you again, and remember me as kindly as you can.

Your own Anna. (Laying down the pen) There, it is done.

ANNA (reading the label) "It is dangerous to exceed the stated dose." Good. But how dangerous, I wonder?

TONY (anguished) Anna!

ACT 2.

Scene 1. Tony's sitting room, early 1985.

ERIC Damn good dinner, thank you.

TONY My pleasure. I don't often get the chance to offer you one.

ERIC Trouble with being away so much. Lose contact with the family. Hilda often complains.

TONY It's a pity she couldn't come after all. I haven't seen her for ages.

ERIC Can't be helped. Doesn't often have these turns, but they're nasty while they last - has to stay in bed until they pass. Luckily only needs rest. Tell you what - come round to us some time next month. I'll ring you after I've checked with her.

TONY Right.

ERIC Bad business about your wife, by the way; deuced sorry to hear it.

TONY Thanks. It was pretty devastating. Actually, that's really what I wanted to see you about.

ERIC So, an ulterior motive. Wondered why you were so keen I should come, with or without Hilda. How do I fit in?

TONY Well, you know about Anna's background, don't you?

ERIC That she was a waif you befriended only to find she was a foreign agent who fell down on the job? Oh yes. Raised some questions about my own security clearance.

TONY I never knew that.

ERIC No occasion to. Water under the bridge now.

TONY Did you realise that it was her controller who's running the Kiev conference?

ERIC No. Interesting.

TONY Will that cause any more trouble?

ERIC Not for me. For you, maybe.

TONY Why for me?

ERIC Must be some reason for tagging on to you. Can't think what.

TONY Oh, I thought you meant from our people. So you didn't hear about the basic misunderstanding?

ERIC No. What was that?

TONY It seems - no, I'd better go right back to the beginning. You remember that conference in Prague that I went to?

ERIC In eighty-one? You wanted all the do's and don'ts. I was off to Singapore and couldn't manage it - put you on to Henderson instead.

TONY That's right. Actually, he wasn't all that much help, but no matter.

ERIC No, only found out about him later. Just hope he's as useless to them as he was to us. Embarrassing, still.

TONY It must have been, but that's beside the point. At the conference Dr. Placek introduced himself, and something I said - goodness knows what - evidently made him think I was there to make contact with a dissident group. It took me a long while to realise - not until he came to see me about the Kiev meeting, in fact - but by then he was so convinced that nothing would shift him.

ERIC Ah. Light dawns. Worried that it's a trap?

TONY Not exactly. But I'm not sure how to deal with Placek.

ERIC As little as possible, I'd say.

TONY That's not quite what I meant. What's the set-up likely to be?

ERIC Hm. Intriguing, in both senses. Chasing dissidents, he'll be Internal Security. No business with agents abroad - diplomatic service's pigeon. Not on speaking terms for past five years - bosses bitterly jealous rivals, at each other's throats - but with a rigid "no poaching" rule. Orders from higher up, I gather. Seems he was right out on a limb.

TONY But that's very interesting. So although their embassy might be keeping tabs on anyone they suspect of meddling in their affairs, Placek wouldn't have access to their reports?

ERIC Exactly.

TONY Then how did he get on to me? Or rather, the one he mistook me for.

ERIC A leak, perhaps. Henderson, getting it wrong?

TONY That sounds as likely as anything.

ERIC Why so interested?

TONY Well, for one thing, if I somehow tipped the wink to their embassy that Placek was stepping out of line, I could really drop him in the mire.

ERIC (sharply) Very likely. But don't do it.

TONY Why ever not? You know what he did to Anna -

ERIC No, actually.

TONY When she refused to follow his plan to disgrace me, he more or less told me her part in it as though he were actually one of the dissident group that ... Well, you get the idea.

ERIC So that's it. "Revenge is sweet," they say. In fact it's a damned sour satisfaction. That's one thing. For another, it's liable to backfire, particularly on an amateur. And most important from my angle, one of their senior men breaking their own rules could be too useful to waste on private vengeance.

TONY He must be, for you to make a speech like that about it! What do you have in mind?

ERIC Nothing, yet. Note for future reference. Just now I'm more worried about what's in your mind.

TONY Again, nothing - yet.

ERIC Then why bother about embassy reports?

TONY Well, I can't just let it rest after he made Anna suffer so much. I must do something. But I'll still have to work with him at the next conference.

ERIC And you don't want him to see that you can be just as two-faced as he is.

TONY That's a bit steep, isn't it?

ERIC No more than it sounds. Otherwise, why keep on with his job?

TONY Duty before personal feelings, you know.

ERIC Come off it.

TONY All right. Granted I want to do the dirty on him, and haven't the guts to do it openly. The next question is, how to go about it?

ERIC You really want my advice?

TONY Yes.

ERIC Then forget the whole idea.

TONY Not « « « likely!

ERIC Even though he'll suspect Anna told you about him, and be on his guard?

TONY That could have been just another of her lies. At least, that's the line I can take if the question arises.

ERIC And if it doesn't?

TONY You're just making difficulties.

ERIC No, you're making difficulties. I'm just pointing them out.

TONY All right, if you insist. But I can't simply let him get away with it.

ERIC Then stick to an indirect approach.

TONY Why?

ERIC Set a professional heavyweight against a man who's useless with his fists - blinded by hatred to boot - who'd you back?

TONY I see your point. But what can I do, then?

ERIC Hm. How about this? Placek already thinks you're in with the dissident support groups. Why not join one?

TONY Sounds altogether too indirect.

ERIC You wanted advice ...

TONY I'm sorry, yes. Go on.

ERIC Well, then. It'll help his opponents. Do some positive good - more than mere retaliation. Not so much personal satisfaction, but that's an advantage - you'll keep a cool head. Believe me, you'll need it to deal with this blighter. Doing nothing he doesn't already think he knows, so you can face him with a clear conscience - if that helps.

TONY It's a point.

ERIC Now, on your visit, take extra care. No unofficial currency transactions. Absolutely nothing to link you with any clandestine group, here or there. No religious literature. No suspect secular literature, for that matter - Dickens probably safe enough, possibly Tolstoy, but anything later dodgy for one reason or another. No photographic magazines ...

TONY Oh?

ERIC Bound to be something the authorities could label "pornographic" if they had a mind to. And never wander off on your own, particularly if you've a camera - above all if a specially inviting opportunity suddenly appears unexpectedly. Need hardly warn you against the usual sexual traps.

TONY Good lord, this is getting serious.

ERIC Glad you realise it.

TONY Hm. Placek said something of the sort.

ERIC Even the Devil can tell the truth when it suits him. Remember, you're a marked man now. Assume you're always under observation, and anything they can nail on you, they will. Whether or not you're actually up to anything.

TONY Then I may as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb. So where do I find these dissident support organisations?

ERIC Officially, nothing known. But don't be surprised if something turns up in a week or so.

TONY Right. Thank you. And after all that, how about a whisky?

ERIC Don't mind if I do. Thirsty work. (Tony pours two glasses and hands him one. They clink.) To crime!

Scene 2. The hall or sitting room of Tony's house, a few months later.

TONY Hello?

VOICE Professor Anderson?

TONY Yes, speaking. I'm sorry to have taken so long - there was something on the cooker that I couldn't leave.

VOICE I'll ring later if it's inconvenient.

TONY No, it'll look after itself for a few minutes.

VOICE Good. Well, it's about the meeting next week.

TONY The AGM? Yes, I hadn't forgotten.

VOICE It isn't just that. You know there's a motion of no confidence in the committee?

TONY Good lord! No, I hadn't heard that. The whole committee?

VOICE Yes.

TONY Well, I can't say they're very impressive. What are the chances of the motion being carried, do you think?

VOICE Pretty high, from what I've heard.

TONY Hm. It's easy enough to kick out one committee, but where do you get another? I mean, everyone who's any good is tied up most of the time.

VOICE I wondered if you might consider ...

TONY Me? But I've scarcely been in the group five minutes.

VOICE Long enough to make a good impression. If I proposed you as chairman -

TONY CHAIRMAN!!! Now that's taking absurdity too far.

VOICE Not at all. Williams would be very happy to second you, and there'd be plenty of other support.

TONY Oh, so you've been canvassing this already, have you?

VOICE Naturally. I don't nominate anyone without being sure he's acceptable.

TONY Well, I'm very flattered ...

VOICE Flattered be damned. There's a job to be done - an important job -

TONY Yes, I know it's important. That's why I'm bothered. I don't have all that much free time, you know. And we don't want another pig's ear made of it. Why don't you stand?

VOICE Too busy. But I've accepted nomination as vice.

TONY Well, that should help. Tell you what, I'll think about it.

VOICE We've only got a week, you know.

TONY Don't push me! The last time I got railroaded into something, the result was a disaster.

VOICE This won't be. You don't really need more than a day to make up your mind, do you?

TONY All right, I'll sleep on it, and ring you tomorrow. Will that do?

VOICE Fine.

TONY Right. Cheerio. (He hangs up and collapses into a chair, shaking his head in disbelief.) Blimey!

Scene 3. A conference office in a Kiev hotel, the next Spring.

ELENA Oh, I am sorry, sir, I did not notice you coming in.

TONY Quite all right. Anderson, University of ...

ELENA (ticking the list) Ah yes, Professor Anderson, A. You are not quite the last. I hope that you had a good journey.

TONY Not bad, thank you. Sorry I'm late; there was a bit of a hold-up at the airport.

ELENA Yes, I knew that there had been some difficulty today. Many delegates have been delayed - it does not matter. (Retrieving one of the plastic wallets from behind the desk, with a white envelope attached) Your documents, Professor. And Dr. Placek particularly asked me to draw your attention immediately to this note - I believe that it is rather urgent.

TONY Thank you.

TONY "Dear Professor Anderson, Please excuse my not being here to welcome you personally; I have been called away on urgent business. However, it may perhaps save some embarrassment. In view of the distressing nature of our last meeting - I have of course no means of knowing what eventually came of it, but whatever the outcome the memory is bound to be painful - in view of that, I should fully understand if you wished to delay any further direct encounter, or indeed avoid it altogether. You might then prefer not to attend the briefing meeting for session chairmen at 8:30 this evening; if so, my assistant Elena, who is acting as registration clerk, will provide you with all the necessary information. Needless to say I should much prefer it if you did feel able to take part and resume our friendly contacts; I leave the choice to your discretion, asking only that you let me know through Elena what you have decided." (To Elena) Hm, very tactful.

ELENA Oh yes, he always is. Do you need time to consider the suggestion?

TONY No, I'm quite ready to see him. No problem there.

ELENA Good, he will be very pleased. I know that he particularly wanted to meet you.

TONY What about?

ELENA About your session, I suppose. There is a copy of the agenda attached to that note - you will see, by the way, that it is on Thursday afternoon. It seems there may be some controversy about two of the papers, and he wanted to discuss how best to handle it.

TONY (scanning the page) The titles all look innocuous enough - if not positively boring.

ELENA Ah yes, but the problem is with the authors themselves.

TONY Oh?

ELENA They do not get on well. The last time they appeared together, Professor Boehm accused Dr. Vasiliev of abusing the privilege of presenting a paper by merely seeking contributions to his next book. Dr. Vasiliev counter-charged the Professor with professional jealousy because the reviewers had torn his last book to pieces, Boehm replied that if that were so, then any one of the fragments would be worth more than the whole of Vasiliev's life's work, Vasiliev said that that simply showed what an inflated idea of his own importance Boehm had developed - and so on. It was not an edifying spectacle, I fear.

TONY Sounds like the beginning of a lifetime's feud.

ELENA Not quite the beginning, I am afraid. They had been at odds for some years, it seems - I do not know what started it.

TONY Then why put them together in the same session?

ELENA On that occasion, the gathering was smaller, there was no chance to separate them. This time, the intention was to put their papers in different sessions. But someone sent the wrong draft of the lists to the printers, and by the time we realised the mistake it was too late to do anything about it.

TONY Typical cock-up, in fact.

ELENA Typical what, Professor?

TONY Sorry, a rather vulgar expression for an administrative blunder. We have them as well - all too often. Do the printed lists stand like the laws of the Medes and Persians?

ELENA Please excuse me. Again I do not understand.

TONY I do apologise; your English is so good that I forget you may not be familiar with all our idioms. It's a quotation - decisions that are obviously wrong but can't be changed however disastrous the consequences.

ELENA Oh yes, I see. I am afraid that that is exactly the position. But Dr. Placek hopes that as a disinterested third party, you will be able to prevent Boehm and Vasiliev from quarrelling, at least in public.

TONY Rather a tall order. What are their papers like?

ELENA I regret that I do not feel qualified to judge. But the abstracts are among the documents you have there.

TONY Pity they weren't distributed earlier.

ELENA I am sorry, Professor, but some came in very late.

TONY As usual ... (Taking out the file, finding the page and studying it) Hm. Neither of them looks very brilliant. There's bound to be some sniping.

ELENA Again, I am sorry.

TONY (hastily) But that's my problem, not yours. Perhaps I could think up some possible side-tracks - let's see ...

PLACEK That didn't take as long as I feared. Is everyone here now?

ELENA Not quite. But Professor Anderson's arrived. He's just over there.

PLACEK Where? Oh, I see. (Under his breath) Damn. Why didn't I keep my eyes open?

ELENA Don't worry, he said it's all right.

PLACEK Did he? That's good. (Approaching him) Professor Anderson! How good to see you again! I trust that you had a reasonable journey? And that your hotel room is satisfactory?

TONY Not bad, thank you, on both counts.

PLACEK Elena has been looking after you?

TONY She has indeed. And explained the problem of Boehm and Vasiliev.

PLACEK Ah, yes, a delicate situation. I am sorry indeed to have inflicted it on you - it was not intentional.

TONY I'm sure it wasn't. Your assistant told me what happened.

PLACEK Together we must think of some way to avoid trouble. But there is that other, more serious, delicate situation - your Anna - I hesitate to ask ...

TONY It seems you were right.

PLACEK On such a matter, I could have preferred to be wrong. It is very sad. You have, I suppose, now separated - perhaps divorced?

TONY Not exactly.

PLACEK Oh?

TONY Anna found some of my first wife's medicines - I should have thrown them out years ago, but hadn't the heart - and took an overdose.

PLACEK But that is terrible! I had no idea that it would come to such a pass. To be free from the threat of a traitor is one thing - but in such a manner - it must have hurt you very deeply. I am indeed sorry.

TONY Thank you.

PLACEK Did she - er - actually admit why she did it?

TONY She left a note. And, as you've probably guessed, she blamed you.

PLACEK That is understandable, I suppose. Was she specific?

TONY Very. She said she was acting on your instructions.

PLACEK I see. Then however false that may be, you must inevitably regard me with some suspicion.

TONY Well, I suppose I can't completely rule out the possibility of her telling the truth for once.

PLACEK Just so. Nothing that I might say could alter that, so nothing is what I shall say. (Lightening the mood) Beyond, of course, welcome to Kiev. An ancient city; you may wish to see the sights.

TONY Yes, I've always wanted to have a look at the great gate - you know, as in Mussorgsky's "Pictures at an exhibition."

PLACEK Ah, that. Several of our participants have asked about it. In fact the project to build such a gate came to nothing - mercifully, according to those who have seen Hartmann's design. But there are other things ... You will of course need an escort. Intourist would arrange one, but their guides, though conscientious, have their limitations - a little unimaginative, shall we say? I wonder, Elena, if you would mind ...

ELENA I should be delighted and honoured, if the Professor would accept my services.

TONY That's remarkably kind - thank you.

PLACEK I should explain that because of the unexpected travel problems, some of the final arrangements are still incomplete, so the organising committee has decided to delay the opening session until tomorrow afternoon. And there has not yet been time to reorganise the social programme, so the morning will be free instead of Wednesday afternoon when we should have had the official tour. Would that suit you?

TONY Why, certainly. But do you really not mind giving up your one free half-day, Miss ...?

ELENA Please call me Elena, Professor. I think that you may find the surname difficult. And as for the half day, I should otherwise be working on the conference administration, and seeing the sights will be very much more agreeable.

TONY I can well imagine. But thanks anyway. Will you be at the briefing session?

ELENA Dr. Placek?

PLACEK No, get some rest. You've earned it.

ELENA Thank you.

TONY Then until tomorrow morning, Elena. Oh, what time?

ELENA Would nine o'clock be convenient?

TONY Fine, thanks.

ELENA You are most welcome.

TONY Now I must sort out a few things before the briefing. Will you excuse me?

PLACEK Of course, Professor. We shall meet later. (Exit Tony. When he is out of earshot -) Well, Elena, that seems neatly set up.

ELENA Any particular instructions?

PLACEK Just use your common sense. Show him the obvious places - any approach is most likely to be there. Of course, if he shows any signs of special interest, or above all of special nervousness, take due note.

ELENA And if there's anywhere else he wants to see?

PLACEK Encourage him. Assuming of course that it isn't actually out of bounds.

ELENA Right.

PLACEK I've had words with our colleagues here - there'll be one of their better men discreetly tailing you, to head off any interference. He'll keep a note of your movements, but naturally we'll have to rely on you for the conversation.

ELENA I hope my memory's up to it. Should I use a recorder?

PLACEK No, something's wrong with the one I brought, and he'd be almost sure to spot an ordinary model. We'd never get through the red tape in time to borrow one locally. You'll manage. Now, you'd better run along and get a bite while there's anything left.

ELENA But there are still three delegates to come.

PLACEK Any of the session chairmen?

ELENA No, they're all here.

PLACEK That's all right, then. But I'll hang on for a while in case of any more arrivals.

ELENA Look, you've had nothing since mid-day ...

PLACEK Don't fuss, Elena. I'm a big boy now. In any case, I grabbed a sandwich on the way here. Pretty ghastly, but I shan't starve. More than you've managed, I imagine.

ELENA Yes, that's true. But ...

PLACEK In any case, I'm not hungry.

ELENA Good heavens, are you ill?

PLACEK Actually, I am rather disturbed.

ELENA Is it the water?

PLACEK No, not in that way. Something that Professor Anderson told me.

ELENA What was that?

PLACEK About Anna Jirak - did you hear it?

ELENA Not enough to make sense.

PLACEK Well, I sent her to find a way of discrediting the Professor's activities, but I had to blow her cover when she disobeyed orders.

ELENA I remember.

PLACEK It seems that after that - because of that - she committed suicide.

ELENA And you're taking that to heart? Haven't you told me often enough that in this business we can't afford a conscience?

PLACEK So I have. But sometimes I wonder ...

ELENA Look, I'm not leaving you alone in this mood. Stay here and I'll order sandwiches - with something to wash them down. I'll be back in a minute or two.

Scene 4. The same, the next morning.

PLACEK Elena! You're back early. And where is the Professor?

ELENA I thought you said you'd arranged for there to be no interference.

PLACEK Yes, so we agreed. Has something gone wrong?

ELENA (beside herself with rage) Gone wrong? It's a disaster!

PLACEK Calm down, Elena ...

ELENA Calm down? It's easy enough to say that - you didn't have to go through it.

PLACEK Perfectly true, but we can't do anything constructive about it until you're coherent enough to tell me what happened. Sit down and I'll order some coffee.

ELENA That muck? As if I hadn't had enough to put up with this morning! (Taking a grip on herself and sitting) Sorry, you're right, I must try to be lucid.

PLACEK That's better. Take your time. I'll have to go and ask for the coffee - they're not answering the phone.

PLACEK It's chaos out there; the coffee may take a little while. Now, let's have the story.

ELENA Well, I picked up the Professor at nine o'clock as arranged. I'd worked out a schedule that took us through all the places where a contact was even remotely likely. It was going like clockwork. Then, just when we were half way through, a couple of the Andropoid apes suddenly jumped us, bundled us into their car and carted us off to headquarters.

PLACEK Damn!

ELENA Is that all you can say?

PLACEK Anything else might be more colourful, but to the same effect. What happened then?

ELENA I protested, of course, but it didn't do any good. They didn't seem to know anything about the conference, and I couldn't produce my proper identification - obviously - until they'd separated us for questioning.

PLACEK Of course.

ELENA After that they were quite apologetic and willing enough to let me go, but when I tried to explain that this was a special operation and I had to stick with Professor Anderson, they just wouldn't listen. Simply brought me back here and dumped me on the doorstep. The humiliation of it! I'll never live that down.

PLACEK Very regrettable, but a minor consideration.

ELENA (flaring up again) Maybe to you ..!

PLACEK Yes, yes, I know. But no one else who matters is likely to hear about it. At the moment I'm more concerned about the Professor. And what happened to our arrangement. (Dialling the telephone while speaking) I'll see what they've got to say about that.

ELENA Hmph!

PLACEK (On the telephone) Ah, put me through to Colonel Grigorevitch, please ... Yes, I dare say he is, but this is important - Special Operations business ... Dr. Alexander Placek. I had an appointment with him last week, you may remember. (To Elena) In another meeting - as if I couldn't have guessed.

ELENA One way of evading questions.

PLACEK Probably genuine. At least they're going through the motions of trying to get him. Ah, success. (On the telephone again) Sorry to disturb you, Colonel, but this is urgent. Look, it's about the suspect Anderson. Didn't we agree that you'd prevent any interference with our operation to trace his contacts here? ... Yes, it damn well did. The Professor and my agent were both detained this morning, right in the middle of it ... Naturally, she did protest, and tried to explain as far as she could without giving the game away, but to no avail. And then she alone was released, after she'd identified herself and pointed out the importance of the operation - it just isn't good enough ... (impatiently) Yes, of course it's wrecked our chances ... Well, unless she picked up something beforehand that she hasn't mentioned ... I see. All right, I suppose it's the best we can hope for ... Yes, I'll do that. Thanks. You have the number? . . That's right. I'll be here for the next half hour, anyway. (Ringing off) He'll make inquiries and call back. Meanwhile he offers his personal and profuse apologies for the indignity you've suffered.

ELENA Fat lot of good that'll do.

PLACEK But it shows willing, at any rate. Now, let's see what we can salvage. You say you'd got half-way through your schedule.

ELENA Near enough.

PLACEK Any interesting reaction from our good Professor during that time?

ELENA Not a jot. He just looked at all the usual things, clicked his camera exactly where any tourist would, asked me to take his picture in one or two places, then took mine ...

PLACEK Eh?

ELENA What's the matter?

PLACEK That means he's got you on record ...

ELENA So what?

PLACEK If he suspects anything of our parallel functions - oh, what the hell, can't be helped. Go on.

ELENA Well, to cut it short, he made not the slightest attempt to step out of line or speak to anyone but myself - and then only the sort of questions an ordinary tourist would ask - and no-one else made the slightest attempt to approach him.

PLACEK In fact, a dead loss.

ELENA Exactly.

PLACEK I suppose the change of day may have thrown things. Though you'd expect him to make some alternative arrangement.

ELENA Any phone calls last night?

PLACEK No, but he'd not be fool enough to risk that. There'd be a message through a chambermaid or something of the sort.

ELENA Haven't they been vetted?

PLACEK Supposedly, but it's too big a job to check them all as thoroughly as we'd like. No, I'm afraid that if there was to have been a contact made today, our friends have scuppered it. (The telephone rings; he answers.) Placek. (Long speech from the other end; he mouths "Grigorevitch" at Elena.) Thank you, Colonel. I shall of course do so ... No, nothing. I'm afraid we must consider the operation aborted ... Quite. Win some, lose some. That's life.

ELENA Well?

PLACEK It seems that the man detailed to follow you reported sick this morning, and the stand-in, who had been to a rather lively party last night, was very much less than lively today. He will be disciplined.

ELENA And how does that help us?

PLACEK It doesn't, for this occasion. But it may remind him to be more careful another time - besides perhaps giving you some personal satisfaction.

ELENA It's nothing to me what happens to the poor so-and-so.

PLACEK That's a pleasing aspect of your character. (Elena glows a little.) Anyway, he'd dropped behind, and was just catching up when a routine patrol realised that you and Anderson were going about without one of the regular Intourist guides, and picked you up quite properly according to standing orders -

ELENA But didn't they know ..?

PLACEK We'd warned them about Wednesday, but the message about the day being changed evidently hadn't got through to that level.

ELENA Typical.

PLACEK Indeed. However, the Duty Officer had his wits about him enough to check, and has sent the Professor back with abject apologies and VIP treatment. He should be here any minute.

ELENA So what do we do now?

PLACEK Pacify him as best we may - and go on preparing for the conference.

ELENA How on earth do you remember which hat you're wearing?

PLACEK Practice. You'll get used to it, in time.

PLACEK Professor! Elena has told me about your most unfortunate experience.

TONY Oh, yes?

PLACEK I am mortified that our attempt to make your visit memorable should have done so in such a disagreeable manner ...

TONY Not your fault, I'm sure ...

PLACEK Even so - but you seem unwell - what is the matter with you?

TONY Nothing much - not that a few hours' rest won't cure.

PLACEK Are you certain?

TONY Oh, yes. The police fellow who saw me off - very decent chap, I must say - a little over-generous with the vodka bottle ... not used to it this time of day - think I'd better go to my room.

PLACEK Is that all? You have greatly relieved my mind. Allow me to give you some assistance.

TONY Thanks. Sorry to be a nuisance.

PLACEK Please do not give it a thought. Elena explained something of what happened ...

ELENA Another cock-up, would you say, Professor?

PLACEK Elena!

ELENA Is something wrong, Dr. Placek?

PLACEK Not a polite expression - most unladylike. Please be more careful.

TONY My fault, Placek. I used it on her yesterday.

PLACEK I could sometimes wish that Elena's gift for languages, invaluable though it usually is, were a little more discriminating. (As Tony stumbles) Careful, there! Anyway, I trust that you have suffered no worse from your adventure than a slight excess of vodka.

TONY Film from my camera confiscated - nearly at the end, too - bit annoyed about that -

PLACEK So I should think. But -

TONY They've hung on to my passport too - have to get it back before the end of the week ...

PLACEK Of course.

TONY What do I do about it now?

PLACEK Your friend of the vodka bottle - or rather, his chief - telephoned to explain the position. He has retrieved the film, no harm has come to it, and he will return it to you without delay.

TONY That's something, at least.

PLACEK Likewise the passport, once the necessary paperwork is completed.

TONY What paperwork?

PLACEK Nothing that need worry you, Professor. He will take care of it all. (Tony sags.) Elena, I think that you had better take the other arm - do you mind?

Scene 5. The same, a few days later.

PLACEK Hello? ... Speaking ... Oh, hello, Colonel. What can I do for you? ... Yes, of course he's still here ... (flabbergasted) WHAT? Are you sure ... Good grief, right under our noses! What a turn-up for the book! (He collapses in nervous laughter on to the chair) No, I realise it's no laughing matter - but I can only laugh in order not to weep - and you have to admire the nerve of it ... Sorry, Colonel, of course you're right. Yes, I'll certainly see to that; there may be some difficulty in persuading him, but I'm sure he'll see reason eventually ... On the way immediately? Right, my assistant will meet your man at the reception desk ... Yes, the same one. Good bye.

ELENA Well, don't keep it to yourself if it's so good.

PLACEK Sorry, Elena. As Grigorevitch said, it isn't really funny at all.

ELENA What isn't?

PLACEK Well, you remember how I said that your arrest the other day had scuppered Anderson's contact here?

ELENA Yes, of course. Obviously it had.

PLACEK Wrong, wrong, wrong! Guess what.

ELENA Oh for goodness' sake - we haven't got all day.

PLACEK Patience, Elena, patience - you should learn to savour the finer ironies of life.

ELENA What ironies?

PLACEK (very deliberately) It seems that the contact did take place, and was in fact ... with the patrol that picked you both up.

ELENA But surely that's impossible!

PLACEK I'd have said so, too. Shows how mistaken you can be.

ELENA And how do they know, anyway?

PLACEK One of them was spotted in a hard-currency shop where he had no business to be, and with a little encouragement eventually came out with his story. How he was corrupted, Grigorevitch didn't say - maybe doesn't know himself yet. But you have to admit, if you've got contraband to hand over, what neater way than in the course of a police search?

ELENA Good grief. You can't trust anyone these days.

PLACEK That, surely, was one of your first lessons?

ELENA But the police!

PLACEK They're as human as anyone.

ELENA From what I saw, that flatters them. Oh, well, can we follow it through?

PLACEK I doubt it. Most likely the goods will have passed on through several more stages by now, and quite out of reach - the trail will probably be stone cold.

ELENA So we're back where we started.

PLACEK Afraid so. Still, at least there's no mystery about who got the message to his contacts about the altered arrangements. We did it ourselves.

ELENA Ouch! So what happens next?

PLACEK Well, Grigorevitch wants to keep the whole thing quiet, understandably - too embarrassing to admit.

ELENA Quite.

PLACEK So he's simply insisting on a signed statement from the Professor, admitting to being a courier, before he gets his passport back. It's been typed out and sent over; would you pick it up at Reception? It's the messenger you know.

ELENA Right. (She moves away as Tony enters) Good morning, Professor. (Exit)

TONY Morning, Elena. Morning, Placek.

PLACEK How are you today? Ready to deal with Boehm and Vasiliev?

TONY Oh, those two.

PLACEK You had surely not forgotten?

TONY No, not really. Though I'd be able to concentrate a lot better if I knew what had happened to my passport. Look, it's three days since I heard anything - what's going on?

PLACEK As it happens, I had some news only a few minutes ago.

TONY Good.

PLACEK You may perhaps not think so. The police chief has just telephoned and asked me to explain - though I must admit to being more than a little baffled myself - that some other irregularity had come to light as a result of your questioning the other day. He believed that you would know what he meant.

TONY Oh, I see.

PLACEK Am I to gather that you do?

TONY Well, I've a fair idea.

PLACEK It is probably better that I do not ask about it. The outcome, however, is that he requires your signature to a statement before returning your passport.

TONY So I've to go back to the station?

PLACEK Strangely, he was most insistent that you should not. (Ironically) I have never known an officer in his position so reluctant to extend the hospitality for which the police are famous, but again, he expected you to understand why. He is sending the statement across by messenger, and Elena has just gone to receive it. In fact here she comes. That was very quick.

ELENA (handing over an envelope) The messenger was already waiting.

PLACEK (passing it on to Tony) So there you are. Have you a pen?

TONY Let me read this first.

PLACEK Of course. Please take a seat if you will be more comfortable. Elena, do you have the handouts that Dr. Donaldson asked to have photocopied yesterday?

ELENA Yes, but they've come out pretty badly - pale and blotchy.

PLACEK Are they legible?

ELENA Just about.

PLACEK Then let them be. If authors can't have all their papers ready in time ...

TONY But this is preposterous!

PLACEK What?

TONY Have you seen this?

PLACEK How could I, Professor?

TONY It says that I admit being a representative of organisations hostile to the Eastern Bloc, providing aid and support to illegal groups here -

PLACEK Ah, so I was right all along! At last it comes out!

TONY - and that I recognise that I shall be permitted no further visits to the East.

PLACEK That at least is surely understandable, in the circumstances.

TONY I'm not going to do it! Let me talk to him - you have his number, I suppose?

PLACEK I doubt whether that would help you. Let me please to explain, Professor, as Colonel Grigorevitch explained it to me. You have two alternatives: accept with a good grace the prohibition of any further visits to Warsaw Pact countries, but complete this one to all appearances as a still honoured guest; or make this present visit a great deal longer, less dignified and less comfortable than you had planned, with the same prohibition to follow.

TONY Oh. I see. And that's final?

PLACEK I should not care to argue with the colonel myself ...

TONY Is there anyone higher I could talk to?

PLACEK Not readily approachable - nor any more open to persuasion.

TONY Then if it's put as you say, I suppose the answer's obvious.

PLACEK I am glad that you see it so. It saves much unpleasantness. A pen? Is the messenger waiting, Elena?

ELENA I think so.

PLACEK Then, if you would be so good as to take this down to him - I'll just re-address the envelope -

ELENA Right. (Exit.)

PLACEK Now - Boehm and Vasiliev ...

TONY What?

PLACEK Professor, I quite understand your distraction, but please try to bring your mind back to today's business.

TONY Oh, yes, of course. Sorry.

PLACEK In particular, how to stop an embarrassing public squabble between those two. I have arranged a little subterfuge. Just at the end of Boehm's presentation, the projectionist will clumsily drop Vasiliev's box of slides and have to call on the author to put them back in sequence. I have offered a little recognition of his incurring Vasiliev's wrath; you may think it appropriate to add your own ...

ACT 3.

Tony's living room, as in Act 1, Scene 1 but an hour or so later.

TONY Come in, Eric, and ... Good heavens! You!

ERIC Happy Christmas, Tony. Yes, I thought you'd be surprised.

PLACEK (uncomfortably) I wish you a happy Christmas, Professor. I had occasion to visit London University on business from my Institute, and -

ERIC Best let me explain, if you don't mind.

TONY Sorry, what am I thinking about? Come through. (All do so, closing the door to the hall behind them.) Let me take your coats. I'm sorry about the state of the room - just putting up decorations, as you see. But do sit down, both of you. Clear a space somewhere. (Starting to do so with one free hand; they help.) There.

ERIC Left it a bit late, haven't you?

TONY Yes. I made the usual resolution to have everything done in good time for once - but with the usual result. Eric, I've a rather nice malt that I think you'll appreciate. What about you, Dr. Placek?

PLACEK I think it better not for the moment, thank you.

TONY (temporarily disposing of the coats, finding two glasses and pouring a moderate measure into each) You were going to explain, Eric.

ERIC Yes - rather an involved explanation, I'm afraid. Make yours bigger than that, you'll need it - cheers!

TONY Cheers!

ERIC Now, must be months ago now, amazing how time flies, but you remember my saying that one of their chaps breaking his own rules could be valuable to us?

TONY Yes, but surely - Sorry, I shouldn't interrupt.

ERIC Right. Did nothing about it at the time - too much else on the plate - but in the event, no need. Dr. Placek himself approached the F.O. a few days ago with an offer that in return for certain favours, he'd be willing to oblige us in interesting ways.

TONY (disgustedly, to Placek) A few thousand, I suppose. You surprise me.

ERIC Thought you weren't going to interrupt. And no need for that tone, either. Not like that at all. Perhaps Placek had better explain this bit himself, after all.

PLACEK Yes, but I have first an admission to make to Professor Anderson. Not an easy one. But what I have to say requires it.

TONY Oh?

PLACEK You see, my occupation has not always been simply what it seemed. Although that among other things. In fact, to explain a painful situation briefly, what your Anna told you about me was the truth.

TONY So I always believed.

PLACEK But you dissembled? Well, I am in no position to complain of that. My academic duties were perfectly genuine, let that please be understood. However, I had also the other responsibility. But there have been developments. With the lead that you gave us in Kiev -

TONY What lead?

PLACEK Your contacts who were identified in the police force. To my surprise, I must admit, our Soviet colleagues traced through them to others, and so on. Eventually -

TONY Very interesting. But I don't believe you.

PLACEK Why not, Professor?

TONY The chain's still intact.

ERIC Tony!

TONY What's the matter?

PLACEK Ah, Professor, there you demonstrate the difference between the amateur and the professional. You have now admitted both that a chain exists, and that you are yourself involved in its operations.

TONY Good lord!

PLACEK Or at the least aware of them, which in the circumstances must amount to the same thing. You are fortunate; no harm will come of your indiscretion this time, but I advise that you remember it for the future.

TONY Why are you telling me this?

PLACEK (ignoring the question for the moment) And that more immediately, you look to the workings of your organisation.

TONY What the devil are you getting at?

PLACEK You have said that the chain is still intact, and so far as it goes your assertion is in fact correct - but do you know what is now at the other end?

TONY Well - No, I think I'd better keep my mouth shut and my ears open.

ERIC Most sensible thing you've said this evening. Except about the whisky.

TONY Help yourself. Go on, Dr. Placek. I'm listening.

PLACEK You are evidently unaware that the cell at the eastern end of your chain has been infiltrated - already half of the genuine members have been replaced by plants, in one way or another - and it will soon be completely subverted.

TONY Good grief! How ..?

PLACEK That is not a matter for our present concern. The important thing is that it will then start distributing marijuana, heroin, cocaine - whatever comes to hand - which the police, when announcing the discovery, will claim to have come from you.

TONY But that's diabolical!

PLACEK Which is precisely why I refuse to have anything to do with it.

TONY Hold on. That doesn't make sense.

PLACEK In what way?

TONY Anna told me - and you admit - that you'd planted her to discredit me as a supporter of the dissidents. As it happens, I really wasn't involved until later, you were completely wrong, but that's beside the point. Now you have a perfect opportunity to do exactly what you intended, and you won't take it. Why not?

PLACEK Ironic, is it not? Let me please explain some of the background.

ERIC Not too much, for goodness' sake.

PLACEK Of course. All my life has been spent in the service of my country, as I saw it: but I begin to suspect that perhaps my vision was defective in some way.

TONY What do you mean?

PLACEK In this country you were lucky during the war. Yes, I know, you were attacked and suffered greatly; but others suffered very much more. I spent my childhood under the German occupation, and it was not enjoyable. Naturally I did what little I could with the Resistance, and absorbed some of their ideals - some of their necessary ruthlessness, too. When the Red Army liberated us, it seemed to place us under a debt that we could never repay, both to itself and to those who had sent it. In my mind, that debt warranted many actions that otherwise would be indefensible - betrayals of friends and colleagues, betrayals of family, betrayals of our own statesmen who wished to relax our ties to the East. Everything was subject to the one greater loyalty.

TONY So what induces you to betray that?

PLACEK You put it harshly - but you are right. Because it has betrayed itself! Before this, imprisoning individuals with dangerous ideas, executing agitators - and yes, I will say it - murdering many whose only offence was to wish for a more human society, all these things we could justify after a fashion, or at the least we could excuse them. In any case they are like the loss of individual cells in a body; the part dies, the whole regenerates. But drug addiction is like a cancer in the nation, spreading uncontrollably and destroying the soul as well as the body. I will do nothing to promote such an evil!

ERIC Very pretty speech, Placek - very praiseworthy. But time's getting on. Point is, Tony, that Placek's stand promises to queer his own pitch, won't be long before he's frog-marched off himself if he hangs around, so he wants to get out while the going's good.

TONY You didn't come all this way just to tell me that, did you? Not to mention getting me to cancel my own arrangements - at great inconvenience, I might say.

ERIC No, we need your help.

TONY To get him out? But he's here already. He need only neglect to go back.

ERIC There are complications. Oh, go on, Placek, you explain it.

PLACEK If I do not return, the authorities will consider me a traitor. With some justice, as you yourself point out. And my assistant Elena - you remember her? She at least has done you no harm - they will hold her to be guilty by association. Also, she has - it is surprising, and took me a long time to realise, but there is no more room for doubt - she evidently has formed an attachment to me beyond the call of duty. I must make sure that she too escapes.

ERIC And unlike him, she has no legitimate occasion for foreign travel.

PLACEK That is so. I bent the rules over Anna; there have been steps to strengthen them since. Travelling openly, she would never get past the frontier - if so far.

TONY And you think I can help?

ERIC Don't go coy on us, Tony. I know there are ways.

TONY What's your interest in this, Eric?

ERIC Placek's worked in Security since God knows when. Knows all the ins and outs of it. Has working contacts in most of the other Iron Curtain countries. We want that information. His price is Elena. No mention of the "few thousand" you suggested - you owe him an apology there. Though obviously we shan't let him starve.

PLACEK I flatter myself that a University post would not be too difficult to obtain. There were some interesting hints in London.

ERIC So, returning to the point - will you help?

TONY As it happens, we do have a method just worked out that might serve. But it can't be used too often without arousing suspicion. And, frankly, there are more deserving cases.

ERIC I don't like leaning on you, Tony, but you do remember how much you depend on our discretionary funds?

TONY Good grief, Eric, I never thought you'd sink so low.

ERIC Hope to goodness it doesn't come to that. But we need this man.

TONY That badly?

ERIC That badly.

TONY I see. In other circumstances I might just possibly consider changing our priorities. But look at it from my point of view. You know what he did to Anna - the dirtiest trick I've ever known to be played on anyone ...

PLACEK You do not suppose, surely, that I enjoyed doing that?

TONY If not, you're a damn good actor!

PLACEK I had to be! But Anna - you do not understand. She came to me, a lost and frightened child - her parents had disappeared (not my doing, by all I hold sacred!) - she had no other family - the friends she thought she could trust had deserted her - she needed to fit in somewhere, anywhere. I never had a daughter ... In the service we should form no personal attachments, but I could not prevent it. By destroying Anna, I destroyed a part of myself.

TONY Hmph. "The devil was sick, the devil a monk would be."

PLACEK (vehemently) Do not mock! I have not the slightest claim on your good will, no one knows that better than I, but never suppose that you are alone in suffering.

TONY Should we applaud that performance?

ERIC Steady on!

PLACEK (with an effort at self-control) If I did not need your help... But I understand your bitterness. Only too well.

ERIC Yes, Tony, your help. If only as a quid pro quo for the assistance you've received.

TONY Well, I'll have to think about it. But it isn't just my decision, you know.

ERIC It's yours that counts.

CLARA Hurry up and get that door closed - it's too cold to hang about.

TONY Hell, they're back already. Dr. Placek, if I've done you an injustice, I apologise. We can talk later. Just for the moment I can't explain, but I'll have to ask you to wait in the kitchen for a while.

PLACEK (baffled) As you wish ...

TONY Only a few minutes, I hope. You'll understand soon enough. It's through there.

TONY Anna, darling, how are you?

CLARA Cold and tired. Haven't you finished the decorations yet?

TONY Not quite - Eric arrived in the middle of it. With another visitor, quite unexpected.

CLARA Excuses, excuses. And you've cluttered up all the chairs - just like a man.

ERIC Allow me. (Clearing two more chairs) No, it is my fault. Kept him talking instead of working.

CLARA Hello, Brigadier. Happy Christmas! But where's the mysterious visitor you brought?

TONY Hiding.

CLARA No time for party games. Look, if no-one's offering coffee to take the chill out of our bones, I'm making it myself.

TONY Sorry - go ahead. You know where to find things. But don't be surprised at what else you find in there.

CLARA (misunderstanding) Aha, a welcome-home treat. Good. (Exit to kitchen.)

TONY Anna, dear, how are you feeling?

ANNA A little tired. But not bad.

TONY How did you get on with the consultant this morning?

ANNA He said that with luck, we might be able to finish the treatment quite soon. But that - how did he put it? - I must learn the confidence to make my own decisions.

ERIC Difficult thing to learn.

TONY But necessary.

ANNA Oh, Tony, after I made such bad decisions before, how can I ever trust myself again?

TONY (comforting her) They were particularly difficult. Not likely to come up again. But there's something else, much easier, that we have to decide between us now.

ANNA What is that?

TONY As I said, Eric brought another visitor. Seeing him's bound to be a shock for you. Do you think you can take it, dear?

ANNA What sort of shock?

TONY It's someone you haven't seen for a very long time. And probably won't want to see again. Dr. Placek.

ANNA Dr. Placek? I can't ... But no, I must begin to face the past.

TONY Are you sure?

ANNA Yes. But I am puzzled. Why has he come? And with you, Eric?

ERIC He wants Tony's help.

ANNA Another conference? But that cannot be - it would surely not concern Eric.

TONY No, it's personal this time. He's refusing an order on grounds of principle, or so he says, expects to be disgraced and wants to defect.

ANNA How does that concern you?

TONY He insists that he's got to have his assistant smuggled out before she gets the chop too. All very implausible, I'm afraid.

ERIC Maybe, but it fits with what we know from other sources.

TONY Think what you like. Frankly, I'm not inclined to believe a word of it.

ANNA (with more confidence) I do.

TONY What!!?

ANNA I believe him.

TONY This is incredible!

ANNA Not if you know him well. He is, in his own way, a man of honour. (Tony is too stupefied to make the interruption all but bursting from him.) In a twisted organisation, he was the nearest I found to being straight.

TONY What on earth do you mean?

ANNA Many people there would climb on the shoulders of others - and happily stamp them down in doing so - in order to gain favour or promotion. Dr. Placek would never do that: he was always anxious that his people, and anyone else he worked with, should get the credit for their work. And if they made mistakes, he would defend them. I was lucky to work for him.

TONY You can say that? After what he did to you?

ANNA That was necessary. He had to defend his own position to complete the task set for him. To do so after I had failed him, he needed to discredit me. I understand now.

PLACEK (starting forward) Anna, I could not help overhearing. I am astonished and humbled by your generosity. But I am even more astonished ... (turning on Tony) You told me she was dead!

TONY Surely not.

PLACEK At the Kiev meeting. You said that she had taken an overdose of some medicine. With a clear implication that that was the end of her.

TONY Oh, I see. Yes, I suppose that was a natural conclusion. But luckily I found her in time - just. Although she's been in and out of hospital ever since. Nervous trouble.

CLARA And no wonder. In fact, she's only here now because they wanted to clear out as many patients as possible for the holiday. Eric, you might have had more consideration: this business could have put her back six months.

ERIC Sorry, Clara. Couldn't wait.

CLARA How do you feel now, dear?

ANNA It is strange - I feel very much better. It must be from seeing an old friend! You will help to get his assistant out, won't you, Tony?

TONY I said I'd think about it. But -

ANNA (to Placek) Who is it?

PLACEK Elena. She joined a couple of years after you.

ANNA I remember. Rather hot-tempered, but with a warm heart - I thought her too emotional for the work - but then I am not in a good position to make such a comment. I remember too that she had a great admiration for you, Dr. Placek. (Teasing) In fact I think that maybe it could have been a little more than just admiration ... Tony, you must help. Make it my Christmas present if you like.

TONY Well ... If you of all people can take that line ... All right, I'll put it to the committee. Emergency session on Boxing Day if necessary.

PLACEK Professor! I shall be for ever in your debt. And in yours, Anna. I do not know what I could do to express my gratitude ...

ANNA There is one thing.

PLACEK What is it?

ANNA When all this is over, you must bring your Elena to see us. Often.

PLACEK What can I say? Your wish is my command!

CLARA Heavens, look at the time! I'll be late for the carol service if I don't get my skates on.

ERIC Years since I've been to a carol service. Mind if I come?

CLARA Of course not. Everyone's welcome - the more the better.

ERIC Fit enough for it, Anna?

ANNA Yes, I think I am. But I must find a warm sweater - the hospital was very much over-heated, and I am not yet used to the cold outside. (Moving to the door, but pausing there.)

PLACEK I should be grateful ... excuse my asking ... if I might be permitted to come with you.

ERIC Can't leave you behind, anyway. We'll all go. I've got the car outside. Can take five easily - more comfortable than your little runabout, Clara.

CLARA Well, if you're sure that's all right ...

ERIC Finish your coffee - pity it isn't something stronger -

CLARA Just as well it isn't, if you're driving.

ERIC Oh ... Fiddlesticks! Cheers, everybody!

CURTAIN

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