Allithwaite

(n)

Call of a white rabbit with a speech impediment

Ambleside

(adj)

Like an old lady on a pedestrian crossing

Appleby

(adj)

(Bed) made as practical joke (occas. corrupted as "apple- pie")

Arlecdon

(n)

Incongruous hybrid (orig. Welshman of Spanish descent)

Askam

(n)

List of ambiguous questions in a sociological research project

Aspatria

(n)

Sneeze with the mouth full of cream cracker

Beckermet

(vi)

Imitate a grotesque cartoon character

Blennerhasset

(n)

Statement of great length and little substance

Blindcrake

(n)

Driver who parks in the middle of a two-car space

Bolton Lowhouses

(n)

Do-it-yourself home extensions

Bootle

(vi)

Annoy the neighbours by dancing around in heavy footwear

Bothel

(n)

Container resisting all attempts to open it

Bowness

(n)

Distortion in a piece of timber that ought to be straight

Brandreth

(adj)

Of a muesli-like texture

Bransty

(n)

Kind of Irish jig formerly used in winnowing corn

Bridekirk

(n)

More accessible substitute for Gretna

Brigham

(n)

Severe magistrate

Brotherilkeld

(adj)

Claiming connection with distinguished personage

Brough

(adj)

Terse to the point of rudeness

Buttermere

(n)

Unwanted result of the Common Agricultural Policy

Calderbridge

(n)

Card game to pass the time in a power station control room

Cark

(n)

Ancient bottle stopper

Carnforth

(vi)

Demonstrate one’s driving skill to the unimpressed multitude

Cartmel

(n)

Beverage supposedly good for the health

Cleator

(n)

Diner who leaves nothing on the plate

Cockermouth

(n)

Idiot who blurts out confidences given to him about a third party in the hearing of the subject

Coniston

(n)

Successful large-scale practical joke

Crosthwaite

(n)

Blow from a bishop’s staff

Crummock

(n)

Bread put out for the birds

Deanscales

(n)

Distribution from joint harvest festival

Derwent

(adj)

Wishing one had taken an opportunity just vanished

Drigg

(vi)

Make a convincing case for extra funds in next year’s budget ("To drigg I am not able, to beg I am ashamed")

Dunnerdale

(n)

Undiagnosed sickness

Eaglesfield

(n)

Sensation of impending disaster

Egremont

(vt)

Clean a saucepan overlooked before going on holiday

Eskmeals

(n)

Left-overs hastily heated up for an unexpected visitor

Flookborough

(n)

Community that won the "best kept village" competition

Frizington

(n)

Hair style favoured by West Indians proud of African origin

Furness

(n)

State of the best armchair after the cat has been on it

Gawthwaite

(n)

Expression of total ignorance adopted by native when asked for directions

Glenridding

(v)

Playing the bagpipes

Gosforth

(vt)

Slander a neighbour in public

Grange

(vt)

Misjudge parking the car by a crucial half inch

Grasmere

(vt)

Accuse without foundation

Greenodd

(a,n)

Pejorative term for conservationists

Grizebeck

(vt)

Call to a Trade Union meeting (from "grize", an archaic plural of "grouse")

Gutterby

(n)

Extract from a tabloid newspaper

Haverigg

(vi)

Delay announcing an election result for a spurious re-count

Haverthwaite

(n)

Time taken by a pedestrian deciding whether to cross the road

Hensingham

(n)

Women’s choir

Heversham

(adj)

Pretending unsuccessfully to social refinement

Holker

(n)

Burly bodyguard

Holmrook

(vi,t)

Act as a dubious estate agent

Honister

(n)

Peripatetic knife-sharpener

Howgill

(adj)

Feigning sickness

Ireleth

(adj)

Spinelessly uncombative

Irton

(n)

Small child mistakenly taken to a concert

Keekle

(vi)

Hold up a line of traffic by dithering at a junction

Kells

(n)

Unidentifiable objects found on the beach

Kendal

(n)

Someone who already knows the story one is bursting to tell

Kinniside

(n)

(arch.) Character assassination on the Leader of the Opposition

Lamplugh

(n)

Emergency light kept in a strategic position

Levens

(n)

One biscuit (usu. pl.)

Lowca

(n)

Vehicle favoured by men in flat hats and wide moustaches

Lowick

(adj)

Contemptible, but not quite ponsonby (q.v.)

Loweswater

(n)

Spurious excuse for drinking spirits

Mardale

(n)

Stale beer

Millom

(n)

Waste from a machining operation

Milnthorpe

(n)

Decoration on a woman’s hat

Miterdale

(n)

(obs.) Ritual for consecrating a bishop

Mockerkin

(n)

Disruptive in-laws

Moota

(n)

Cattle transporter

Moresby

(adj)

Censorious of current values

Netherwasdale

(n)

Dregs from a brewery

Nibthwaite

(n)

(arch.) Skill in making quill pens

Orgill

(adj)

Suffering from previous over-indulgence

Patterdale

(vi)

Suffer laryngeal fatigue after over-exertion in G&S

Ponsonby

(adj)

Utterly despicable

Penrith

(n)

(arch.) Right of a clerk in Holy Orders to gather goose quills from common land to make writing implements

Penruddock

(n)

Scrawler of graffiti on a newly-painted surface

Portinscale

(vt)

Climb over (e.g. a security fence)

Ravenglass

(n)

Distorting mirror

Rosthwaite

(n)

Hiding place for a radar trap

Rothersyke

(n)

Sudden deceleration induced by the sight of a police car

Rottington

(n)

Load of manure

Rowrah

(n)

Pest with a loud portable radio

Scalderskew

(adj)

(Hymns) offending against rules of rhyme, scansion or syntax

Satterthwaite

(n)

Interval between the time agreed for meeting and the lady’s actual appearance

Seathwaite

(n)

Time taken for a kettle to boil

Shap

(n)

Bits of wool caught in a hedge

Stavely

(adj)

(Paved) with transverse logs to limit erosion

Silecroft

(n)

Art of spreading agricultural refuse on the highway

Silloth

(n)

Accumulation of dead insects on a window ledge

Skiddaw

(n)

Deposit left on a road by a farm tractor

Tallentire

(n)

Annoyance at someone who does a job twice as quickly and effectively as one can oneself

Tebay

(n)

Beverage section of a supermarket

Thornhill

(n)

Snow slope liable to avalanche

Thursby

(adj)

Looking forward to Friday evening

Torver

(n)

Peat-cutting tool; hence a particular design of ice skate

Ulpha

(n,vi)

Sound like an undrained euphonium

Ulverston

(n)

Boulder placed in a river bed in the vain hope of creating a lair for fish

Waberthwaite

(n)

Road space to be allowed for an unskilled cyclist

Wellington

(n)

Amount of good-will cards on a hospital locker

Wigton

(adj)

Wearing a toupee

Windermere

(n)

Minor success in a lottery

Windscale

(n)

(math.) Integer greater than 5

Winscales

(n)

Student pianist

Yealand

(adj)

Of a small dog, protesting vociferously how it would demolish the Alsatian over the way if only it were let off the lead

Yottenfews

(n)

Six-inch nail put to improper use

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